my thoughts

My thoughts… about 48 Group’s couples…

Sans titre

My thoughts… about 48 Group’s couples…

These opinions are totally subjective. Sorry for my mistakes.

Continue reading “My thoughts… about 48 Group’s couples…”

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AKB48, Fanfiction, Two-shots

[Two-shots] Because I love you (YuriRena/YuriAnnin)

YuriAnRena (2)

Because I love you (YuriRena – YuriAnnin)

I pushed the door slowly, hearing the bell ringing above my head. This sound was usual for me, I often came here.

“Welcome!” A familiar voice shouted at me.

I answered with a light smile, glad to see my friend. I reached my place. I said ‘my’ because I always sat here.

“How are you Yuria?” She asked, coming to me with a bowl of her delicious ramen.

“Fine and you?” I told her in a lazy tone.

“Really? You don’t seem to be.” Yui avoided my question, sitting in front of me.

Yui was always worried about me. I felt protected but I wasn’t a kid anymore. She couldn’t help it, I guess.

“But I am.” I answered a bit annoyed.

“Did you see her these days?”

I stopped eating and looked at my friend in front of me. It wasn’t the first time I heard this question. She used to ask me even though she already knew the answer.

“We’re in the same university.”

It was definitively a yes. I couldn’t avoid… her.

“That’s why you’re moody.” She teased me and stood up.

“No, I don’t care about her.” I ate again.

She only giggled at me that made me sigh. We both knew I lied. I cared about her. But I didn’t want to admit it. I was alone in Yui’s shop. Except her of course. I liked to go there, it was my secret garden. I felt calm, knowing that Yui was always here for me.

**

“Hey.” A young voice said.

I turned around while my girlfriend grabbed my hand before kissing me quickly.

“Hey.” I said with a little smile.

Rena leaned closer, stroking my cheeks, and our lips met again. I barely answer her kiss. She pulled away and looked at me worried.

“Are you okay Yuria?”

Rena was my girlfriend for a whole year or maybe a bit more. I didn’t remember. She was… special.

“Yeah, don’t worry, Rena.” I ended my sentence, kissing her forehead.

“Let’s go?” She asked, handing her hand.

I nodded and grabbed it. I cast a quick glance at the group of girls not far from us. They were laughing, they seemed happy. I was envious, the quick glance turned into a stare. I knew these girls. I used to be with them… before everything happened. I felt Rena’s hand leaving mine. She will be angry with me.

“Hey, don’t stare at them!” She yelled a bit at me.

“So-Sorry.” I muttered and followed my girlfriend.

I didn’t know what I was doing. It wasn’t me. I didn’t like people decide for me. But Rena made me change. I wanted to be myself. I was tired of being what she wanted me to be. Yet, I didn’t want to break up with her. I loved her, I really did.

**

I left the school, the earphones in my ears, I listened to the sweet music which was played. I felt calmer.

“Don’t stare at us in front of Rena.” Someone shouted next to me.

My heart stopped beating. I stopped myself and looked at her. Finally, a large smile appeared on my face. It was just my friend.

“Don’t scare me like this Juri.” I said, removing one of my earphones.

“Your face was funny, ya know?” Rina said, reaching us.

“Hey, stop making fun of me.” I giggled at them.

Juri and Rina. My two friends. They’re still my friends, I talked a lot with them by texts mostly. We were friends for a long time.

“Juri, Ricchan, don’t leave me behind.” A sweet voice yelled, running to us.

I turned around, my smile dropped immediately. Why now?

“Sorry Annin.” Juri spoke in a warm voice.

Juri was always kind. She took care of her friends. I missed her a lot. Rina was always funny. They were a bit the opposite. I missed them. Anna was… not my friend. We didn’t really know each other. She met Juri and Rina when I stopped talking to them.

“I-I need to go…” I mumbled and ran away.

I didn’t want to see her. Not because I hated her. She was the famous ‘her’ that Yui talked about a few days ago.

**

“I saw you after school yesterday.” Rena said while I was closing my locker. “I told you, I don’t like when you are with them.” She told me, mad.

I knew she will be angry but I didn’t expect her to see me. I didn’t answer and just looked at her who left me. I let out a sigh. Rena was jealous and possessive. She hated my friends. She asked me to stop talking with them. I felt a warm hand on my shoulder.

“Good luck.” I could recognize Anna’s voice saying it in a teasing tone.

My body froze. I turned around but she was already gone, walking to her friends, to our friends.

**

“What happened again?” Yui looked at me with a sad face.

“It’s Rena.” I mumbled, avoiding her eyes.

I was in Yui’s shop, sitting. I looked down. I felt empty.

“Again? Break up with her.” Yui said in an emotionless tone.

It was the first time she told me this. Break up with Rena? Impossible. I liked her. That was why I was going out with her. She asked me first. I gladly accept it. We were kind of friends.

“What?” I let out, surprised.

“Yeah, go to find your true love.” She told me with a warm smile.

My true love? I didn’t love Anna. I never loved her. It was just… I was lost.

“She isn’t…” I looked at Yui.

“Stop being blind Yuria. You love her, as you always do.” She spoke in a soft tone.

I stayed here, glaring at the girl in front of me. Perhaps, she was right and I wanted to avoid the truth. I didn’t want to suffer because I knew she couldn’t love me back. Wait, did I just admit it? I wanted to be with Rena.

**

Rena didn’t talk to me again. I didn’t know why. I send her text but she didn’t answer. Until today. I was alone, leaving the school.

“Yuria?” A cute voice called me.

I turned around, discovering the young girl behind me. My cheeks turned immediately red when I tried to answer back.

“A-Anna?”

“Your friends told me that you often go to a good ramen shop… I wonder if… we could go together.” She avoided my eyes and spoke in a shy voice.

I wanted to kill my friends for this. I never talked about Yui’s place to Rena. I wanted to keep this secret garden for me. But I couldn’t say no to Anna. I also wondered why she wanted to go with me. What was it? A d-date…? My phone rang in my pocket. I took it while Anna was still waiting for me.

‘Yuria, I’m sorry for being jealous. I love you. Can we go out today? I miss you a lot.’

‘T-Today? Sorry, I have things to do. But I promise you next time we will.’

‘Thank you, I love you.’

I hung up, looking at Anna again.

“Sorry.” I apologized for the phone call.

“It’s okay, I understand.” She showed me a bitter smile.

She turned around, starting leaving me. Why? Did she think I refuse her?

“Wait. I didn’t tell you no.” I spoke in a confused tone.

She looked at me, stunned.

“I thought you had things to do…”

“Yes, we’re going to eat ramen.”

She smiled. My heart turned wild. I avoided her eyes, a bit nervous. We reached Yui’s shop. It was empty, as usual. Deep down, I enjoyed this time with her. We talked a lot on the way. Her laugh sounded cute, it was the first time I heard it.

“Hello, Yui-san.” I spoke quietly.

“Yuria why-” She quickly stopped her when she saw Anna next to me. “Welcome.” She showed us a warm smile.

We sat, quietly. I didn’t dare to talk. I didn’t know why. Perhaps, Yui made me nervous. Anna finally broke the silence.

“Do you come here often?”

“Yeah…” I answered shyly.

“What do you want to eat?” Yui asked in a teasing tone.

She knew, but it was Yui, Yui liked to play with me.

“As usual.” I said, a bit mad at her behavior.

“You’re friend with Juri and Rina, aren’t you?” Anna avoided quickly my eyes. “Why aren’t you with them?”

“I-I… It’s just because of Rena…” I told her the truth, looking away. “She doesn’t like them so she doesn’t want me to stay with my friends.”

I didn’t know if I could tell it. It was horrible when I thought about it. Rena controlled my life.

“That’s mean…” She mumbled while Yui brought the food.

I didn’t answer and started eating. I didn’t know what to say. Anna was right. I thought I couldn’t let Rena do it anymore. But if I tell her, she will break up with me.

“Yuria.”

My heart stopped beating. I stared at her. What? What with that serious tone?

“We don’t really know each other but I-”

“Yuria-chan! Annin!” I recognized Rina’s voice yelling.

I bit my lips and stood up. Rina, Anna and Yui stayed quiet, looking at my weird face. I turned around toward Rina, showing her a dirty look. I hated her. Why did she interrupt her? I was sure she wanted to say something important.

“I need to go.” I suddenly snapped and left them.

I wanted to know. It seemed important. She had a serious tone, it was a quite unusual.

**

“Yuria!” A warm voice called my name when she opened the door.

“Hey sweetie.” I quickly took her in my arms.

I missed her. I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I felt guilty. I couldn’t love two girls, right? I loved Rena, I liked to be with her but Anna made me crazy, I couldn’t control it. Rena quickly let me go in. I sat on the couch, looking at her.

“I’ll grab dri-”

I interrupted her sentence, pulling her on my laps. I kissed her lips, feeling that she was answering me back. She pushed herself away, stroking my cheek. I put my arms around her waist while she looked at me.

“Are you okay?” She spoke in a worried tone.

“I love you Rena, I really do.” I told her without avoiding her eyes.

Her cheeks flushed and she leaned to kiss me again.

“I’m sorry for being angry.” She told me, looking away from me.

“We need to talk.” I said, feeling my heart squeeze in my chest.

She remained quiet, waiting for me.

“I… I love you but…” I managed to say, afraid.

“Yuria? Are you going to break up with me?” She said in a lost tone.

She was more sad and confused than angry. I never saw that face. Rena seemed almost afraid. She looked like crying. I couldn’t let her go. I couldn’t break up with her.

“No. Of course no.”

I couldn’t, I loved her too much.

“I would like to see my friends. I’m feeling as if you were controlling my life.”

She didn’t answer and pulled me until I buried my face in her neck. It was warm and soft. I felt her hand playing with my hair.

“I’m sorry. I know it’s my fault. But I can’t help it.”

“I don’t understand why you hate them.” I talked in a weak tone as if I was going to cry.

“I don’t. It’s because of Anna.”

My blood froze in my veins. I removed myself, looking straight into Rena’s eyes.

“I know her, I don’t want something happens to you.”

I didn’t understand. Did they know each other? Why didn’t she tell me earlier?

“How?”

“She is my ex.”

Flashback two years ago (Rena’s POV)

“I love you, really.” Anna told me again, kissing my neck.

I loved this girl. I couldn’t tell how my heart started beating faster when she was around.

“I love you too.” I managed to say.

She looked at me, a playful smile on her lips. She leaned and kissed me. I felt her pushing me until I touched the bed’s sheets. She pulled herself away, gazing at me. Her deep gaze was so perfect, I liked the way she looked at me. She bit playfully my neck, starting to unbutton my shirt.

**

I was staring at her. She was so pretty. She was sleeping peacefully next to me, her hair on her face. Her skin was so soft, I could see her bare collarbone. I noticed she received a text as her phone lighted up. I took it, curious. I quickly regret it. It was a girl or a boy. I don’t even remember. I read their talk. She was cheating on me. The tears started running on my cheeks. I looked at her, she just woke up.

“You…”

“Rena… I’m so-”

I slapped her and left the bed, taking my clothes. She only stared at me while I grabbed my stuff. She had nothing to say anyway. We both knew she was cheating on me.

**

Back to present time (Yuria’s POV)

“Hello Yuria.” Yui greeted me when I went inside the shop.

“Hey.” I said back, a bit sad.

“How are you since the last time?”

I bit my lips, I felt like crying. Yui quickly noticed it and came to me.

“What’s wrong?”

I fell in her arms. I needed it. She hugged me without asking anything else.

“Anna is Rena’s ex. She cheated on her.”

I pushed myself away, looking at Yui’s surprised face.

“That’s why Rena doesn’t want me to be with my friends.”

“So, what will you do?”

“I will be with my friends again. Anna isn’t one of them, I don’t care about her.”

I suddenly started hating Anna so much. She broke Rena’s heart. I couldn’t like her even as a friend. Yui looked at me, she was worried. I could see it in her eyes. But she managed to show me a slight smile.

**

I was happy, I could finally see my friend. I quickly came to school today. I felt better.

“Hey!” I greeted them.

They looked at me stunned.

“Yuria?” Juri muttered.

“Don’t look at me like this. Everything’s okay. I just wanna spend time with my friends.” I smiled.

“That’s great.” Rina answered me.

I knew Anna will come. I didn’t know what I will do. Ignoring her? It will not be really good. Maybe we should have a little talk.

“Hello. Yuria? Is everything fine with your girlfriend?” Anna asked, a bit stunned.

“Yeah, everything’s perfect.”

My heart turned wild. I just needed to not pay attention to her. Not attention to Anna… It will be fine, right?

I walked to the washroom. I opened the door, seeing my two friends. I just stared at them. They were passionately kissing. Oh, I didn’t know that. I didn’t say anything and only went back. I was wondering-

“Watch out!”

I looked at the person in front of me. I was in my thoughts, I didn’t see her.

“Sorr- Oh, Annin.” I said in a stunned.

“Are you okay?” She asked in a worried tone.

I was until I talk to you.

“Yeah.” I snapped, starting leaving.

“I don’t understand why you suddenly hate me.”

I stopped and turned around.

“Did I do something wrong?”

Her voice sounded concerned. Why? Did she care?

“We’re not friends, Iriyama.” I answered, harshly.

I didn’t let her any time to answer and left. Not friends. We were nothing for each other. I… I needed to hate her.

“Yuria!” I immediately stopped again.

It wasn’t Anna. My girlfriend was next to us. Rena and Anna’s gazes met for a few seconds. I never saw Rena with this kind of expression. She was definitively mad at the smart girl. She looked at me, smiling. I smiled back and she came to me, grabbing my hand. We walked together. We had a bit of time before the next class.

“Are you okay?” She suddenly asked me.

We sat on a bench, outside. I cupped her cheek with one of my hand.

“I am.”

“I’m worried.” She told me, avoiding my eyes.

Worried? Didn’t she trust me enough? Nothing will happen with Anna. She… she was a player. I let a light kiss on Rena’s forehead before speaking.

“It will be okay.”

“Thank you… I’ll do my best to change.”

I pulled her into my arms. It was warm and soft. I felt relaxed. She was still jealous and possessive but I felt better with her now. I always loved Rena. I saw she tried to change for me. I couldn’t be happier. I didn’t want Anna to bother my feelings anymore. Should I tell Rena? No, she will be mad. I thought the same about her behavior, I thought she will be angry with me but she didn’t. Well, it was different, it was about my love for her. I… doubted my love for her. I was an idiot. I had Rena.

“I love you.” I said in a light tone when I removed myself from the warm hug.

“I love you too, Yuria.” She answered back, kissing quickly my lips.

“I need to go. See you after?”

She only nodded and I stood up, leaving her. I reached my next classroom, walking in the quiet corridor.

“I love you a lot.” I heard it, coming from another corridor.

Wait. Was it Juri’s voice? I cast a quick glance at it, I was curious. I distinguished Juri against the wall and Rina leaned on her. Juri let a light kiss on her lips. I didn’t know about their relationship. I was a bit surprised, I wonder how many times they went out together.

“Move lovebirds, we will be late.” I only said, looking at Juri’s red face.

I smiled and walked again. I could hear them reaching me a few seconds after. It was quiet. None wanted to talk. I tried to hold myself from laughing before going into the classroom. I let out a light giggle, seeing Juri and Rina weird face.

“You’re late Kizaki. So don’t get yourself noticed.” The teacher snapped at me.

I didn’t apologize or say anything. I just sat without really paying attention to him.

**

I was waiting for Rena. I wanted to see her so badly today. But I felt something was wrong.

“I don’t understand you.” A familiar voice told me.

I turned around and looked at her. I didn’t want to see her now.

“Why?” I snapped back to Anna.

“Did I do something wrong?” She walked closer to me.

My heart stopped beating. I bit my lips. My mind was going crazy. Why did this girl have so much effect on me?

“Leave me alone.” I lowered my eyes.

“Yuria-”

“Enough. I don’t want to talk to you. Please, go away.” My voice sounded hopeless.

I wanted to see her. But I was glad with Rena, I couldn’t destroy everything. I needed to resist at Anna. I closed my eyes, leaning my head on the wall.

“Yuria…”

I felt a cold hand on my cheek. I opened my eyes, staring at her with a stunned expression.

“Don’t. Please.”

She didn’t listen to me. She leaned slowly, I felt her breath on my lips. I couldn’t let her.

“Anna.” I pushed her shoulders, avoiding to look at her. “Let me.”

She lowered her head without a sound and she left. I bit my lips. My heart began crazy, pounding hard in my chest. I let out a sigh. Rena will be there soon, I needed to stay calm.

“Hello.” A voice disturbed me a few minutes after.

I looked at her. It was Rena. I showed a slight smile and kissed her lips gently. I grabbed her hand and we left in silence. I was nervous but I didn’t want to show it. We reached her home. She kissed me again before sitting on the sofa. I sat next to my girlfriend, taking her in my arm gently. She put her head on my neck before talking.

“You’re weird.”

I pulled away, looking at her. Weird? No, it wasn’t true. I acted as usual. It couldn’t happen…

“Is it because of Anna?”

My heartbeat began faster. I couldn’t control it. Even hearing her name made me crazy. I tried to hide it. I didn’t want to mess up the things with Rena. Why now? It couldn’t be true.

“I knew it, Yuria.” She suddenly said without looking at me. “You love her, right?”

My heart stopped beating. I wanted to answer but my voice stayed stuck in my throat. The truth suddenly hurt me, I didn’t know.

“Let’s break up.”

I wanted to scream, to tell her no. I still loved Rena. She stood up and started walking. I quickly grabbed her arm. The tears rolled on my cheeks.

“No… I love you Rena.” I managed to say while she turned around, looking at me. “I swear. I do love you.”

She extended her free arm, stroking my cheek gently. She showed me a bitter smile.

“I’m sorry Yuria.” I released her slowly.

I put my face in my hands, crying again and again.

“Be careful. I don’t want you to become her toy.”

It was the last sentence I could hear from Rena’s voice. I couldn’t believe it. She dumped me. Rena and I were over.

**

“Hell- Yuria?!” Yui walked to me, pulling me into her arms.

“It’s over.” I sobbed.

“What?”

“Rena broke up with me.” I felt Yui patting my head gently.

I cast a glance behind her. She wasn’t alone. Juri, Rina and Anna were here. They looked at me.

“Sorry…” I mumbled, a bit ashamed of what just happened.

“It’s okay Yuria.” Juri told me, standing up. “It will be a hard time.” She added while Yui released me slowly.

“I still love her.” I sobbed, looking away from Juri’s eyes.

“Come here.” Rina told me in a calm tone.

I sat next to Juri. I tried to stop sobbing but I couldn’t do anything else that think about Rena. I didn’t want her to leave me. Rena was everything for me. I couldn’t love Anna, right? Juri patted my head gently. I wanted to scream, to tell Anna it was her own fault. But it was mine. I couldn’t control my feelings. I couldn’t be in love with two people.

“You need to change your mind. Let’s go to the karaoke next week.” Rina told us, trying to help me.

I didn’t know if it was a good idea but I accepted.

**

We were quiet. No one of us dared to talk. I didn’t want to be alone with her. I turned my head to see her. She… she was so gorgeous. I noticed she was also looking at me. I felt my cheeks flushed, seeing her serious gaze. She showed me a warm smile as to reassure me. I didn’t think twice and crashed my lips against hers. I felt that she answered back to my kiss.

But, I felt nothing. It was empty. She didn’t love me, right? I knew it after all. I suddenly remembered what Rena told me. ‘I don’t want you to become her toy.’ Anna was a player.

I quickly pushed myself away, looking into her eyes. She looked like crying.

“I should have known it after all…” She mumbled, a bitter smile on her lips.

She stood up and left me, alone. I felt the tears reaching my eyes. I should have to cry because of her. I didn’t want.

“Yuria? What’s wrong?” Juri who just came back with Rina asked me.

I didn’t answer and also left the place. I was such an idiot. What did she mean by ‘I should have known it’? Know what? That I will push away? I released a sigh, walking home.

**

Time passed. Rena dumped me and Anna didn’t seem to show any feelings for me. I was alone.

To Be Continued…

 

 

AKB48, Fanfiction, OS

[OS] Painful Love (Yuria’s POV) (YuriAnnin)

yuriannin-27

Anna’s POV

Painful Love (Yuria’s POV) (YuriAnnin)

I looked at the window. I quickly noticed her, walking to the school building. Her long hair, her perfect features. I felt something weird in my chest, again. Each time I watched her, I felt it. I hated it. It made me angry. She disappeared from my view. She must have been inside. Continue reading “[OS] Painful Love (Yuria’s POV) (YuriAnnin)”

AKB48, Fanfiction, Long story

Stuck – Chapter 6: The end…? [END]

Stuck cover

Previous Chapter : Time to leave

Stuck – Chapter 6: The end…? [END]

Yokoyama Yui’s POV

One month passed. Sayaka and Miyuki came to Tokyo one week ago. I really wanted to see Haruka. It was today. I left Kyoto today. I was really in a hurry. My stuff was ready. I took the first train which brought me to Aichi. Yuria didn’t leave her hometown. I didn’t see her since last time. She stayed in her house with her family. I guessed she was broken because of what happened with Anna. Haruka told me everything. I couldn’t blame my friend for her action. Continue reading “Stuck – Chapter 6: The end…? [END]”

AKB48, Fanfiction, OS

[OS] YuriAnnin forever (YuriAnnin)

YuriAnnin (7)

YuriAnnin forever (YuriAnnin)

It will be tomorrow. I wasn’t ready. I didn’t want you to leave. I was afraid. I didn’t know what will happen once you will be gone. Will we still meet each other? I hope. I stayed lying on my couch, looking at the pictures that we took together. Your photobook is on the table next to me. I saw it a million times. Thinking how gorgeous and perfect you are. I remembered when you announced your graduation. I promised myself to not cry but I couldn’t hold the pain of hearing it. Continue reading “[OS] YuriAnnin forever (YuriAnnin)”

AKB48, Fanfiction, Long story

Stuck – Chapter 5: Time to leave

Stuck cover

Previous Chapter : Kisses?!

Stuck – Chapter 5: Time to leave

Kizaki Yuria’s POV

I put my hand on her neck and pulled her quickly. Our lips met for a few seconds before I pushed myself away. She looked at me, surprised. I felt the pain in my shoulder. I wasn’t fine like that. I turned around and sat on Anna’s thighs. Her arms wrapped my waist. I put my two hands on her cheeks. Continue reading “Stuck – Chapter 5: Time to leave”

AKB48, Fanfiction, OS

[OS] Drunk Love (YuriAnnin)

YuriAnnin (26)

Drunk Love (YuriAnnin)

I stayed sitting on the sofa, looking at the people in front of me. I didn’t know what I was doing here. I didn’t like it, I just wanted to leave. My friend, Rena made me come to the party. I didn’t drink but they became drunk, one by one. I just wanted to leave.  A girl, who had the same age as me, reached me. She looked at me, blank. That girl was so pretty and cute. I easily recognized her. She was the one I loved, Kizaki Yuria. I felt my cheeks turning red. I kept quiet, avoiding to look at her until she spoke. Continue reading “[OS] Drunk Love (YuriAnnin)”

AKB48, Fanfiction, Long story

Stuck – Chapter 4: Kisses?!

Stuck cover

Previous Chapter : The truth

Stuck – Chapter 4: Kisses?!

Kizaki Yuria’s POV

Did I say it? I didn’t want to, the words just escaped from my mouth. I quickly stood up, trying to stop her to leave. I grabbed her wrist and made her turn around toward me.

“I’m sorry… I didn’t mean that…” I didn’t avoid her gaze. Continue reading “Stuck – Chapter 4: Kisses?!”