Letters’ Series #02 Hospital (YuriAnnin)
I was very stressed out. Thank you for helping that night. We talked a lot, right? I was really thirsty and hungry, you know? I couldn’t really sleep but I needed to… When we stopped talking, I was thinking about you. I remembered every funny moment we had together and that frightened me so much, I couldn’t tell anyone.
The next morning, when I woke up, they told me I’ll be operating at 1 pm. It was only 8 am, I needed to wait. So, I waited and waited… I took a shower and prepared myself. There was nobody with me, nobody to reassure me, I felt alone.
Finally, they came to take me. My heart pounded hard in my chest. I was lying in bed, feeling the people pulling me to the room. All the gazes on me, everybody were staring at me. I wanted to disappear. I didn’t want to go there. I was afraid.
I met a nurse. She reassured me. Thanks to her. I felt a bit better. She talked to me, asking about my life. She spoke about her own too. That made me forget a bit what would happen. ‘It will be okay.’ she told me again and again.
The room was cold. A few people were around me, the nurse too. She held my hand tightly… or I held her hand tightly, I didn’t really know. My head started spinning hard and then, all became blank.
When I woke up, I thought about you. I wondered when you could see again. I didn’t want anyone to see me. I asked you to don’t come and you do it, thank you… I really didn’t want you to see me like…that. It was horrible. I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t eat, I felt bad. That made me cry. I cried, I didn’t really know why but I cried. I wanted to reassure myself, telling me that everything will be fine after… but that didn’t work.
I miss you Yuria. I really want to see you right now. I hope we can meet soon. I love you.
Your love, Anna