Lovely Silence (YuriAnnin) (Anna’s POV)
I was walking, quietly. I followed my mother. She brought me to school today, to my new school. I felt stressed. We went into the sensei office.
“Nice to meet you Iriyama-san.” She told me, with a light tone. “I am Yokoyama Yui, your new homeroom professor.
I bowed a bit, a smile on my lips. Then, we sat in front of the office. My mother talked with Yokoyama-sensei. I waited. Everything will be okay. That was what I kept thinking.
“Don’t worry. I will take care of your daughter.”
I knew. That was they said. But the students rarely felt the same toward me. I followed Yokoyama-sensei to my new class.
“Good morning. It’s Iriyama Anna. She moves from Chiba. She’s mute but not deaf. So, I hope you will take care of her.” The teacher said, looking at the class.
I was mute. I didn’t have a lot of friends. They couldn’t talk with me after all, why should I be their friend? I stayed alone. I didn’t like it but I had no other choices.
“Well, you can take the seat behind Oshima-san.” Yokoyama-sensei showed me the place.
I nodded and sat behind the girl. I listened to the class carefully. I was good at study. I was only good at study. So, I did my best to get good grades. The class ended quickly. I wanted to leave the classroom but Yokoyama-sensei stopped me.
“Iriyama-san, I hope you will make some friends here.” She told me in a light tone.
I only smiled at her and left. I knew it was impossible. I left the school. Well, I tried to but I lose myself in the corridor. I heard a strong music which was playing not far away. I decided to reach it. I quickly recognized the girl she was one of my classmates. She was dancing but the song ended soon after I came. She took a bottle and started drinking. But she suddenly spat the water, looking at me. I started giggling at her funny reaction. I moved my hands, I knew she will not understand but that was my only way to apologize right now.
“I’m sorry… That… was funny…” She said while I was telling her.
Did she understand? Really?
“That wasn’t!” She answered me while I stared at her, surprised.
[Can you understand me?]
“Do I startle you? I learned sign language.”
That never happened before. It was the first time I could communicate with someone. Sometimes I used to write but it wasn’t the better to have a discussion.
“By the way, my name is Yuria.” She told me, smiling.
[Nice to meet you. You’re a great dancer.]
I meant it, I could saw her a bit but her moves were perfect.
“Ah… T-Thank you.” She mumbled, embarrassed.
[Maybe, do I disturb you?]
Why didn’t I think about it sooner? She was surely training and I was just bothering her.
“Not at all. What are you doing here?”
I felt relieved. I couldn’t tell her the truth, it was so embarrassing.
[I just passed by.]
“I see. I need to go, it’s already late. You should go home too.” She told me after looking at the clock.
Well, I should have been home since a long time but I lost myself here.
[You’re right. See you tomorrow.]
I wanted to leave first but I didn’t know where I needed to go. I just took my phone and pretended to send a text. When Yuria left me, I silently followed her to the exit. I finally reached my home.
“How was your day?” My mother asked me while I sat on the sofa.
[Great.] I only answered.
I didn’t if it was great but it was only my first day. I didn’t want to tell her about Yuria. I meant, we just talked a bit. I didn’t want her to think we were already friends.
I didn’t like to stay in the cafeteria. There were too many people and noises. That made me feel uncomfortable. I distinguished Yuria and her friends around a table. I decided to ignore her. She mustn’t have talked to me.
I stopped quickly. Did she really call me? I turned around and walked to them.
[Hello.] I smiled a bit.
“Do you want to eat with us?”
I was a bit stunned. I didn’t expect her to ask me. But I was glad, I wanted to find a friend. Was she serious or only polite?
[I don’t want to bother you.]
“It’s fine. Please.” She begged me a bit.
It made me smile. I was really happy right now.
[Thanks.] I said and sat next to her.
“Here, Renacchi, Juri and Naachan.” She told me while her friends greeted me.
I felt it will be hard to talk with them. They were talking and I stayed quiet as usual.
“Hey Anna, what do you like?” Juri asked me with a smile.
I looked at her, surprised. I felt everybody was waiting for me and I quickly answered.
[I like reading.]
“She said she likes reading.” Yuria told them.
I hoped I didn’t bother her because she needed to copy my sentences. I enjoyed my time with them. We quickly became friends. They told me that didn’t care if couldn’t speak, it didn’t matter. Even when Yuria wasn’t here, I was with Rena, Juri and Nana. We found another way to talk, I wrote. Sometimes they asked me to learn them some words or easy sentences. I felt fine with my new friends.
I was sitting next to Yuria. It was our break.
“Yuria, you’ll be fine for the test next week?” Rena asked, her tone sounded a bit worried.
“Aaaaah, I hope so.”
I guessed she was lying. We knew she wasn’t good at it. I wanted to help her, I knew I could. I patted a bit her shoulder to make her turn around to me.
[Do you want some help?]
She didn’t answer and stared at me. What was wrong? Didn’t she understand?
[For the test, I can help you.]
“Eh? Really? I mean, is it okay for you?”
Of course it was. I liked to be with her. She was… my friend.
[It is. Are you free after the class?]
[I am. Thank you.]
It was a quite rare that she answered by sign language.
“Hey, we can’t understand you.” Naachan said, pouting a bit.
I giggled at her.
“Well, you don’t need to know.” Her tone sounded harsh.
Why? Was something wrong?
I didn’t understand. I thought she teased her but she wasn’t. She seemed serious. I wondered why. I was in a hurry for the class ended. We decided to go to my home to study today.
[Can we go?]
“Yes.” She answered and we left the school.
We didn’t talk. I wondered if she felt bad. It wasn’t Yuria’s style to not speak. Did it bother her? No, if not she would have accepted, right?
“Are we alone?” She finally asked when we reached my house.
[Yes. Is it bothering you?]
Did it bother her to be alone with me? Why did she ask then?
“No, it’s fine.” She smiled a bit.
Yuria did her best to work and understand. But it was getting late and she seemed tired. I stood up to pick some drinks and when I came back, she was sleeping on the desk. I sat next to her, smiling a bit. After a few minutes, she started crying. I looked at her, I guessed it was a nightmare. I stroked her hair gently. I couldn’t speak to reassure her, I felt useless. She suddenly woke up, looking around her. I extended my arm to wipe the tears on her soft cheeks. My heart turned wild.
“I-I’m sorry…” She only mumbled.
[It’s fine. You seemed tired, so I let you sleep.]
“Thank you…” She lowered a bit her head.
I was worried. Why did she cry? Why did she have a nightmare? Something must have been disturbing her lastly or… was it something else?
[Are you all right?]
“Just a nightmare. I will go back home. Thanks and see you tomorrow Anna.”
I wanted to know more but I remained quiet. I didn’t want to let her go but I couldn’t. I only waved my hand, looking at her.
Weeks passed. Yuria seemed a bit sad lastly. I found a dance contest. I wanted her to go, I knew she could win it. But she said she didn’t want to go. So, I decided to ask my other friends to help me to convince her. Finally, she accepted. And she won. I knew she was the best. But even with that, she seemed still sad. Something was wrong even though she kept telling she was fine. I wanted to support her but my mother fell sick. She was in the hospital. I didn’t know if it was serious. My father called me, telling me they found her unconscious on the floor. I wanted to see her but I couldn’t. So, I stayed here, crying.
“Hey?” I immediately recognized Yuria’s voice.
I raised my head, trying to stop crying. She was sitting next to me with a worried face.
“Anna? What happens?”
I couldn’t answer. I put my head on her shoulder and she took me in her arms. It was so warm and comfortable. I wanted to tell her about my mother, to thanks her but I still couldn’t. My sobs stopped after a few times. She released me a bit to let me talk.
[My mum is in the hospital.]
“Why?” She said in a light tone.
[I don’t know.]
“Do you wanna see her?”
Of course I wanted but I couldn’t. I nodded and she smiled at me. She stood up and helped me. I stared at her, stunned. She seemed to have an idea.
“Well, we will see her now.”
It will be the time for us to go in the classroom soon. That was why I couldn’t go. She came closer to wipe my tears. Her hands were warm. I felt my heart pounding faster.
“Let’s go.” She grabbed my hand.
She didn’t release my hand. When we reached the hospital, I heard her take a deep breath. She stopped suddenly. I turned around and looked at her.
I was a bit stunned. I didn’t understand what was wrong.
“S-Sorry.” She only mumbled and we went into the hospital.
She squeezed my hand. She wasn’t fine and it made me worried. We quickly found my mother’s room but the nurse said we couldn’t see her now. We sat on a bench. I looked at the window, distinguishing my mother who was asleep. I made Yuria released my hand.
[You don’t seem fine.]
It was bothering me too much, I couldn’t keep it for me. I put my hands on my laps and she immediately grabbed it again. My cheeks flushed, I hoped she didn’t notice it.
“I don’t like this kind of place. I will wait with you.”
I understood now. I felt sorry for her. It was my fault if she was here. I put my head on her shoulder, squeezing her hand. I wanted to stay with her. I understood. I understood that I fell in love with her.
I woke up, I didn’t know how many times I stayed asleep. I removed my head from her shoulder. I looked at her, she was still sleeping. I smiled a bit, it was a bitter smile. I stood up and reached the roof. I needed to get some fresh air. What should I do? I didn’t know. I heard footsteps coming toward me. I turned around, looking at Yuria.
[Why are you feeling so bad?]
I was still worried about her. I didn’t like to see her sad or upset.
“I told you, I don’t like hospitals.” She showed me a light smile.
I knew. But I wanted to understand why. Why didn’t she understand that I’m worried?
“My dad is dead in a hospital. That brings bad memories.” She finally told me looking down.
I didn’t know that. I suddenly felt bad. I shouldn’t have insisted. I reached her, grabbing her hands. My heart immediately pounded fast in my chest while my cheeks flushed badly. She raised her head slowly. Our gazes were locked. I didn’t know what to do. I stared looking at her lips, I wanted to taste it. I leaned and I noticed she did the same. I could feel her breath against my mouth.
“Iriyama-san, your mother is awake!” A voice yelled from the door.
We quickly pushed ourselves away. She looked so embarrassed, her face was red. I guessed, my cheeks flushed too. But I was more upset that embarrassed.
“G-Go see to your mother!” She managed to see, looking away from my eyes.
I nodded and left her. I was finally able to see my mother. It wasn’t something serious. I was relieved. Yuria avoided me. It hurt. We didn’t talk like before. Did she regret it? She leaned to kiss me too. I thought she loved me. Was I wrong? I missed her. I let out another sigh, again. I was packing my stuff to leave. Yes, I was leaving. I didn’t tell Yuria about it. I heard a knock at my room’s door. I opened it and stayed stunned in front of the girl. I quickly let her go in.
“What are you doing?” Yuria asked.
I needed to tell her.
[I’m going to America…]
I closed the door behind her. I couldn’t hold myself anymore and I wrapped my arms around her body from behind. I felt so… sad. I buried my face in her neck.
“I missed you.” She spoke in a light tone, squeezing my hand.
I removed my arms and she turned around to look at me.
[I will be operated. I lost my ability to speak when I was three years old. They can treat it now. It’s my last chance.]
“If it doesn’t work?” She said in a worried tone.
I didn’t want to think about it. But there was a chance for a failure.
[I will stay mute.]
“Anna… I-” I stopped her, putting one finger on my lips.
It was enough. I couldn’t hold it anymore. I removed my finger and leaned to her. I felt her hand stroking my cheek to pull me closer. Our lips finally meet and played together for a few seconds. I smiled at her. I couldn’t tell it, it made me sad but…
[I love you.]
She looked at me, surprised.
“I-I don’t understand.”
Really? It was famous. I just chuckled a bit.
[It’s fine, I will tell you when I come back in Japan.]
She opened her mouth to talk again but I kissed her quickly.
[You should go.]
I didn’t dare to look at her. It was too painful. I took her one last time in my arms, doing my best to not cry. And she left.
It was today. I took a deep breath and knocked at the door. It was a long time… I missed her so much. I hoped she didn’t forget me.
“Can’t you do it-” Yuria stopped talking when she looked at me.
I showed her a bright smile and hugged her tightly.
“A-Anna?” She muttered while I felt she hugged me back.
She quickly pulled me to her room. It was better, both of us alone.
“I’m glad to see you, I miss you a lot.” She told me.
I knew she was waiting for me to speak. I was stressed out.
“Anna? Talk to me.” She lowered a bit her head.
Was she afraid? She was cute.
“Yuria?” I finally called her.
I could remove the smile from my face, she raised her quickly.
“I love you!” I shouted, so glad to be able to tell her.
I took her in my arms again. I was so glad to see her, to be with her. She was smiling, I leaned slowly to kiss her.
“Yuria…” I spoke in a light tone.
“Oh my god. Your voice is so beautiful.” She said, surprised.
I laughed at her. I was in heaven. She wrapped her arms around my waist and pulled in a long and slow kiss.
“Did you find what does it mean?” I asked her when we pulled away.
“I swear, I tried but I didn’t find.” She admitted.
“‘I love you’ I said.”
She smiled at me. I liked it, her beautiful smile.
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
It was our lovely silence.